Realizations!

It has been a long time!!!! I guess I do have a 9 month old reason but I have really been slacking.

Is there a time in your life that a thought hits you so hard it feels like you have been stabbed in the chest? WELL.......that has been happening to me a lot lately. Once when Josh preached his sermon on  "Questions" (click to listen, I urge everyone to take time and listen to it) I do not get a lot out of sermons but Amos was behaving pretty good this day. I didn't get everything but I got enough to make me think about the questions and what I needed to change. And let me tell you it pricks my heart when I think about things that I need to change in my life. And how many questions I answered "No".

The most reason stab was just today. The PCRMC (a hospital) is/was under a bomb threat. My mother works at the hospital. This bomb threat touches close to home. After I found out I call a friend who's mother also works at the hospital, luckily she works night shift. I ask her to keep my mom in her prayers and we hang up. After that i call my brother from out of town, posted on Facebook then I start looking for something to eat, then I go to the bathroom. I tell you all these details to show that there was on thing I did not do AS SOON as I found out. Can you figure it out?  If you said PRAY you are right. I did not drop to my knees THEN AND THERE and pray. Instead I worried, I called others, posted on Facebook and thought about myself.

I don't know aout you but I think about stuff while on the toilet, sorry for the TMI, but I do. In between calling and facebooking someone responded "Will do" to my post on Facebook about keeping my mom in their prayers. While in the bathroom (again sorry), I started to think about will any one actually pray for this situation, then I thought about how often I say I will keep someone in my prayers then I turn around and not say a pray on there behalf. I don't know if I think "Oh, I will say it tonight during my bed time prayer" or "I'll say it next time I think to pray". I should just call it what it is.... I do not have a good praying relationship with God. I do not talk to God as much as I should. God gave me this way to comunicate with Him (Luke 6:12) and a way to express my worries (Philippians 4:6), and I do not take advantage of it.

After thinking about how much I pray for someone when I say I will, I got half way down the hall then started to think "I am doing the exact same thing I was just thinking about". Right then and there and stopped and prayed. I prayed for my mom, then the employees and the patients, then I prayed for the one that made the threat. I know this is hard to do sometimes and especially when it touches so close to home but God says we are to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44), this is another one of my faults but I will save this one for another blog.

This is just something I wanted to share. Not to brag about changing, let me tell you this is hard to say to you and it is something I am deeply ashamed of. But, I write this so you can help me and support me in my quest to serve God as He would want me to. I post this asking...begging for your help. For you to hold me accountable. For you to Check in to see if I am changing my ways. For you to PRAY for me.

Colossians 4:2 Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses[a] to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.